Pregnancy Week by Week

Unplanned Pregnancy

What? Me, pregnant? Why me, I didn't plan on it, I was just having a little fun, I never took sex seriously enough, I am in a big trouble, how could I've been so stupid, how could he be such a moron, what now? For sure these are a few mild first reactions of a woman who is feeling nausea, finds out she's pregnant and it's an unplanned pregnancy.

Back and forth scenario

If this has ever happened to you, you probably remember how you measured your room a zillion times, you cried and shouted first; given tears are said to come more easily while you're pregnant. If it catches you off-guard, or you're not in a serious relationship, or you're unmarried, if you are too young or too career-oriented, you express anger at first. Immediately after, vulnerability settles in. It comes hand in hand with despair or panic. You pick up the phone and call the father. He's losing his voice and you check out your phone to see if you didn't dial the wrong number. "This cannot be happening to me" you say, and he catches up with his usual voice saying "what?" or "wow" in a pale voice. Then some monologue starts with you being a new woman for him; or at best, a fragile dialogue takes place, given the father is a good guy.

It's always and entirely up to the woman

Yeah, it takes two to tango, but it takes only the woman to decide whether to keep the baby or not. After all the arguments, it ends with the man saying "as you want" or "it's up to you." How fair is that? It's not, but then again who said life was fair? So here you are, experiencing a feeling of loneliness; because you alone will have to decide whether to continue with the pregnancy or not. If you keep it, you scan like a thunder your health situation, your social and financial status, but most of all, if you haven't been too serious about the father, you do ask the major question: "Should I raise the baby all by myself?"

Do your best to give your newborn a father figure

I know there is a lot of talking spinning off the question "Should I raise my baby by myself?" There are many pros and cons to this. I say you shouldn't play the hero here, and say "I can do it. I don't need him." You probably can do it. But this is not the point. It is not about you anymore. It's about the newcomer and what the baby needs or wants. I say it's only natural that the baby would vote for two parents, a father and a mother. You could be a supermom, yet you can never replace the father; you are just a woman. Do not deliberately deprive a baby of his rights to both parents. If life treats you bad, and the baby loses its father, or you discover he is oh, so bad, he harms the baby, then, ok, it is something else, you'll do your best to compensate. But the initial educated choice of raising the baby alone is more of a mistake than a cool thing to do. Try not to do this.

If you have decided that you don't want to raise the baby alone, you will have two options in front of you. One is to go on with the pregnancy and give up your baby for adoption when it is born. The second is to terminate the pregnancy in time. All these decisions are very tough to make and you need ot think very clearly and carefully before deciding your plan of action.